Book Review: Spontaneous Happiness by Andrew Weil, MD.

Dr. Andrew Weil presents information on the newest theory in health, integrative health care, in Spontaneous Happiness, published this past November 2011. I became interested in reading this book when Dr. Weil’s article on his belief that people suffer from “nature deprivation”, taken from Spontaneous Happiness (Newsweek, October 30, 2011), prompted our family to take a hike in the trails near our home. We found that we loved hiking! (See our blog post, “Trail Hiking—Family Activity”, November 2011). Dr. Weil’s recent book not only contains useful information for creating a healthy lifestyle to a wide audience, but also presents it in an accessible three-part format. Highlights of the book include an eight-week program for personal integrative health and the Anti-Inflammatory Diet. The book’s contents are also featured online at www.SpontaneousHappiness.com.

Happiness, according to Weil in Part I of the book, is not “ceaseless bliss” but more like the Swedish term, lagom, which translated loosely “means something like ‘just right’ or ‘exactly enough’-- basically a balance point of “resilience, contentment, comfort, and serenity…your emotional safe harbor which you can leave but to which you should be able to return easily and naturally”. I don’t mind telling you that, as a “keeper of the family”, this also struck me as part of a definition of home. Part I continues on with Weil’s theory that an epidemic of depression abounds, that a new integrative approach is needed which addresses a person’s “physical, psychological, and spiritual needs” (which reminds me as more of an extension of the “mind-body” connection, so often quoted, to a “mind-body-soul” connection…and the “health triangle” approach of personal-physical-social realms), and that integrative health can benefit from the practices of both eastern and western health theories. As a reader looking to this book for further information on helping families, Part I of the book seems less intriguing than Parts II and III, but I do see the importance in Weil’s definition of happiness, and the background of health as well as the introduction of integrative health.

Part II and Part III include concrete suggestions for creating “happiness”…once again defined as “a balance point of resilience, contentment, comfort, and serenity”. Part II focuses on three areas: Body, Mind, and Secular Spirituality. For the body, Weil suggests adopting an anti-inflammatory diet (outlined in the appendix), exercising more, getting adequate sleep in darkness and quiet at night, as well as adequate light exposure during the day. For the mind, Weil focuses on “ruminating negative thought patterns” that he states are the “root of unhappiness”. He makes several suggestions for a healthy mind including interventions of the positive psychology movement, mindfulness training, meditation, reducing attachment to those items which are often associated with addictions in people, and practicing visualization and daily “breath work”. Weil is quick to define and explain the difference and the overlaps between spirituality and religion in the chapter on secular spirituality and its importance. Its here that Weil suggests that people need to be more aware of their connection, not only to the natural world, but also to animals, art, beauty, and communities of people in order to bring more fulfillment into their lives.

Part III, the final section of the book, consists of an eight-week step-by-step program to improve an individual’s happiness and two appendicies which include a general outline of the Anti-Inflammatory Diet and a list of further books to read as well as several online resources for readers on many of the Weil’s suggestions in the book. As well, he gives two of his own web sites, www.drweil.com and www.SpontaneousHappiness.com , where readers can access even more information on integrative health.

It is important to note that throughout the book, Dr. Weil is careful to suggest and explain that for individuals with depressive disorders, his suggestions should be used in conjunction with their current therapies.

FINAL REVIEW: As a person first attracted to this book by Dr. Andrew Weil’s researched belief that we, as a people (especially kids), suffer from “nature deprivation” and his concrete suggestions on connecting more with nature in his Newsweek article, I read this book as a mom looking for more suggestions for my family. Though I didn’t need the extensive background on health theories or the treatment of depression at this reading, I did find several activities that I can do, teach, and adapt for my own family to improve their overall health in general. However, his suggestion to quit coffee and caffeine drinks (for overly dependent people) “cold turkey”, though well-intentioned, won’t “fly” in my family! I definitely don’t want to be any where near a person who is trying to cut a dependence on caffeine in that manner; I don’t think it will increase the family’s happiness quotient one bit (initially anyhow!). Otherwise, I found the concrete suggestions and resources to be a highly positive factor of the book, and very easily to adapt and implement. In fact, for the next two weeks, I’m Counting To Three…Okay, Four will be highlighting several of these suggestions, adapted for families, as our “Weekly Tips”. As well, our family will try these tips ourselves and give a full “Family Review” at the end of three weeks. Enjoy!

What's Your New Year's Resolution?

So what’s your new year’s resolution?  I'd love to hear!  Are you planning to lose weight and get fit/healthy, lose bad habits, get your finances in order, learn something new, get organized, or my two favorites—enjoy life more and spend more time with family and friends?  Better yet, what is your plan for keeping those resolutions?  Resolutions are a favorite topic of January news and social media…as are the articles exclaiming that you are doomed to fail in your resolutions by February.  Don’t you dare listen to those naysayers! 

Creating goals--and revisiting them throughout the year--is healthy for you and for your family.  Making resolutions (i.e. goals) helps us create direction in our lives, define what we want to accomplish, reflect upon our own purpose in life and create meaning for ourselves. Instead of being a bystander going through daily motions, when we create goals, we become active participants in our own lives.  Says Sarah Ban Breathnach from her book, Simple Abundance, “The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers.  But above all, the world needs dreamers who do.”  Going through the process of creating resolutions and action plans is a way to “do” your “dream”-- and it’s a valuable life skill to teach your family.   To create goals that you and your family members can reach, try the following tips:

1)   Creating a goal requires some reflection:  What do I want to do? What do I want to be?  What do I want my life to be like?  Who do I want to become?  For

younger kids, you may want to ask them questions such as: what do I want to learn more about, what do I want to try that I’ve never tried before, what do I

want to work on to be better at doing?  Some people use the “Health Triangle” model to guide goal-creation.  This model holds that there are three basic areas of human health—physical, mental, and social.  Are there areas in your health triangle that you’d like to focus on to be a more healthy individual?  One point that I first became confused on when creating goals was the idea of chores being a goal.  Chores that help keep the family moving along, such as setting the table, etc. are not life-guiding goals; they’re chores. 

2)      Most experts advise focusing on only one or two main goals at a time.  For your family, each member could choose an individual goal and then you could all decide on a family goal.  Too many goals at one time can get confusing and stressful rather than helpful. 

3)      Make your goal flexible.   This is the part of resolution-making that can find a person dropping a resolution faster than a hot potato.  Make your goal flexible enough that you can definitely reach it and that you can change it as you go along in your journey towards it. A few years ago, a great friend and I decided that we would encourage one another to exercise an hour each morning, as many days as we could.  For busy moms, whether at home or working, sticking to any one consistent, daily task can be daunting.  I remember one particularly difficult time period when it seemed like everyone was catching the flu and it was difficult for the two of us to ever get together to exercise, but we kept contacting one another and waiting it out, sometimes doing some exercise on our own at odd times, knowing that eventually we’d be able to meet up again.  When we did meet up again, I remember saying to my friend how frustrating it is to try to do anything consistently each day.  She said to me, “Yes, but think of how we would be if we didn’t even try, if we didn’t keep our goal in sight, even when things happen.”  She was absolutely right.  If it weren’t for our acceptance of the unpredictability of life and the mentality that our goal is still there waiting for us each new day, despite life’s interruptions, we would never have run our first mile or completed our first 5K.  I never would have then chosen to start eating healthier as part of my goal. 

      Perhaps (and you need to tailor this to your own needs and your own family’s needs) you might start by trying to do something towards your individual goal three times a week for 30 minutes at a time.  Or if your goal is for your family to enjoy more activities together, you might want to start with one or two activities a month.  Start with an amount that you feel you could definitely accomplish.  From there, you may want to challenge yourself and add in another day or a little bit more time whenever you work on your goal.  You may find that as you move along, you need to adjust the goal a bit.  Maybe you decide that you’d like to change your goal from standing up and giving a speech to a group of people to trying out for drama club.  Allow for flexibility in achieving your goals.

4)      Create an action plan.  Think of each tiny step to take along the way towards your goal or your family’s goal.  Write them down.  Think of these as “sub-goals”.  Each of these “sub-goals” are your steps towards your overall-reaching main goal.  In your action plan, you need to focus on reaching each “sub-goal” along the way.  Again, these should be flexible and should be able to be changed if needed. 

5)      Assess your goal-achieving resolution at regular time periods.  For example, you may want to create a weekly chart (see the Star Chart examples) or even add a box to your own “Chore Chart” for “Working on Sub-Goal” or if it’s more of a tough thing to even get through the day doing, i.e. “staying away from high sugar sweets” (or for a child—“trying to sit on the potty once a day”).  Put a star in the box for each time you work towards your sub-goal.  If you are doing a family goal, have a chart for when you all work towards that family goal.  Again, to make this successful, remember to make the amount of time flexible for each week, i.e. not every day of the week or, on a daily chart, not every time each day.  When you assess how you did, decide if this is working for you or if you need to change it to help you be more successful the next day/week. 

6)      Decide if you want to add a reward.  Yes, I said it.  I know it’s controversial and it’s certainly something that is very personal and individual to each family.  It’s your decision.  If you achieve a particular sub-goal, maybe you can have a tiny reward.  Maybe if you do reach a set of sub-goals, you could give yourself a reward, then.  It works for some people; some people feel reaching the goal IS the reward.  Making a goal successful means tailoring it to your own beliefs and needs. 

     Yes, kiss those naysayers good-bye and make some New Year’s resolutions.  It’s healthy and it’s a life skill that will teach your own family how to work towards, and reach, a goal. So come on….what do you want to do with your life?  (Resist the urge to call out “I Wanna Rock” from Twisted Sister….okay, unless you really do wanna rock....maybe I’m aging myself here…).  You really can do it!

Ice Skating

Ice skating was our first family activity of the new year.  It was a great way to get active during that "in-between season", when the weather is not cooperating outside for either bike riding, or sledding and ice skating outdoors. We even were able to visit with friends and other family members who showed up at the rink.  With the music pumping in on the sound system, we skated along talking, visiting, trying new tricks--and trying to hold onto the side rails(!), not even realizing that we were getting in some exercise.   There were even large industrial paint buckets that when, propped upside down, made great helpers for the young, new skaters.  The kids could put both hands on those and then skate around, or sit down upon them for a little break.   My kids used to use those when they were young.  It's a great way to include as many age groups as possible in a family ice skating outing.

The Twelve Days of Christmas

During the twelve days of Christmas, my true loves' gave to me:                                                   

....a handmade vase by my oldest son--although we have no idea how he could have brought this home without us knowing and put it in his closet without breaking it!  Yikes!

....four car breakdowns--luckily close to home

... eight pounds lost in three weeks.  This was the only good part about the stubborn case of pneumonia I’ve been nursing all December.  I’ve been trying to lose those eight pounds for forever!

...forty-seven cards and letters from across the country

Helping at the Food Bank and Creating with Cookies

We sorted and put together boxes at the Regional Food Bank for our family activity this week.  Then, we came home, put together our gingerbread house, and decorated it.  I think that at this point, there is only one Hershey's kiss left on it as the rest of them somehow snuck away! 

We also cut out and decorated sugar cookies. 
 Rolling out the dough for sugar cookies:

                                         Gotta love the blue Christmas tree with green sprinkles!

Bowling!

     For our family activity, we decided to go for a treat and go bowling!  All the kids love it when we can go to do this.  We actually did this a few days before I ended up getting sick, happily.  Luckily, the bowling alley was running a special and I had a coupon, so it made it just about free.  (At the end of this post, I'll link a site that allows kids to bowl free at many bowling alleys--check it out!).   My littlest one, loves that bowling can turn out just as well for big kids as for little ones,  (i.e., it's anyone's guess where that ball will go and how many pins it will knock down) so  he loved this activity.

                              My second son (CK) has got his own "spin move" which accompanies a
                              little dance that he does back to the seating area:

Family Meeting #5--Traditions

“Well, I think a tradition we have in our family is to color our hair,” said my youngest son at our latest family meeting.  The kids started to giggle and I don’t think I helped matters any when my jaw dropped open.  Luckily, my son (J.J.) giggled, too. 

            “What do you mean that we color our hair?” I said, innocently, blushingly even, but well knowing that yes, I do put highlights in my hair—just a little.

            “Well, like in the summer.  Our hair gets lighter and now Dad had some white hairs (to which my husband’s jaw dropped amid more laughter) and so I think that’s something that is a tradition in our family,” he explained. 

            “Well, that is something that does happen to our family’s hair, that’s true,” I said.

            My oldest son (Jay) interrupted, “Mom, just don’t even speak.  You sound like Marge Simpson.”

            “I sound like Marge Simpson?” I said.  “Like from “The Simpsons” TV show?” More laughter. 

            “Yes, I’ve been thinking that all day and I’ve been waiting to say it,” he said. 

            “Definitely Marge Simpson,” said my second son (C.K.).  All I can do is smile and laugh at myself, too. 

Our meetings were first sidetracked by the Thanksgiving holiday and then by two of my kids getting sick with this coughing/fever thing (let’s face it—it’s either a coughing/fever thing OR the throw-up/diarrhea thing:  both “old hat” by now around our house and not worth mentioning, though I prefer the coughing/fever thing to the latter…anyhow…).  The sidetrack is not only did I get the coughing/fever thing, but it turned into pneumonia.  I’ve never had pneumonia and as the old southern saying goes, “when mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”.